negative zette says: if you let yourself be happy you'll only fall harder when it passes. your boy wants to get you in bed, he'll say anything. your friends are just fatter than you, but not by much. your family jokes about your waist sarcastically. it's huge. guys hit on all girls. they would hit on a cardboard cutout.
so, this little battle in my head means i consider things twice as long. regardless of who is winning at the moment, i'm having yogurt (60) for breakfast. for those of you in the states who might maybe shop at kroger, i like these yogurts. they're forty cents&sixty calories. i like to get 6 every week so i have breakfast already planned for the week. (i try to do a closetofastingaspossible day) i also get sandwich stuff. bread (100) turkey (20) cheese (60) mustard (5) so (185) but i usually eat half. you know me&my rule, never finish a full serving. i haven't even been finishing apples lately. my stomach hurts if i fill it up. i like learning to not eat.
or:
i dunno if you have noticed, but summer is coming up. have you checked your bikini reflection in a mirror lately? i need to work on mine. stay strong today, lovelies.
xoxo
zette
p.s. i sliced my finger open last night digging around in my bag. it's funny how something doesn't seem stupid until you do it by accident&it fucking hurts.
p.p.s. peridot, this is the pillow pet i have. it's just a stuffed animal with a strap on the bottom that unfastens to make it a pillow.
I have a panda pillow pet!!
ReplyDeleteGuys don't hit on all girls. Take it from someone who knows. -G
ReplyDeleteMy mind thinks negatively 99.8% of the time. Not a good thing. There isn't a Kroger anywhere near where I live. There's a store called Hy-Vee and it has a store brand of yogurt that is usually on sale for 30-40 cents each. Not sure how many calories are in it though. I think like 80.
ReplyDeletethese things run through my mind too.. but most of the times the negative annamaria comes out. like today when those boys were talking to me more than my friend, I kept thinking "wait, more beautiful girls will come out, go talk to them instead of settling for me"
ReplyDeleteit's insane but I get it
on other words, such a lovely pillow pet!
We get my little cousins those pillows too! I love them. These thought-battles are so hard, and I don't think any of us has a good answer. I know personally I think you are gorgeous and seem like a good judge of character so the Boy is actually telling the truth, but a) I weigh more than you and might just be jealous and b)I've recently fallen off the wagon to become 'healthy'.
ReplyDeleteIt's all madness. love you, much skinnies too you. The yogurt sounds fab.
i want a pillow pet so bad heheh
ReplyDeletei have those fights with my head all the tiem
I have a unicorn pillow pet named Larry. :]
ReplyDeleteAnd you should listen to Positive Zette! I swear, guys don't hit on all girls... They never hit on me.
Oh my god, I want a pillow pet!
ReplyDeletesometimes i hate positive me: she lets me eat (which makes me purge). sometimes i hate negative me: she makes me binge (which makes me purge some more). i just like being cool, clean, decisive and in control. i like mia. i want that bitch back on my team. ... in the end i'd say; listen to whichever zette is keeping you in control. because i find that when i loose control it's just regret city all up in here. *stay strong*
ReplyDeletewow, so glad I'm not the only one whos head tells me different things at different times. I also have a hard time distinguising between how I really feel/think and just what the hell is going on in there in general.. ugh, at least I'm not alone. Stay strong, dear, you're doing a lot better than you think :) and keep posting! I absolutely adore your writing.
ReplyDelete<3 Jess
p.s. thanks for the bikini reminder! ohhh I'm dreadin it. I have exactly 43 days to lose as much as possible before beach week.. eeek
ReplyDeleteI HAVE A UNICORN PILLOW PET :D it's name is tubby :D oh litte distractions
ReplyDeleteStay strong <3
IM STEALING YOUR PILLOW.
ReplyDeleteI think it's pretty normal to consider positive and negative things, but when it comes down to it you should try to believe in yourself and in the positive things. Guys hit on girls, but they hit on you because they find YOU attractive. Your friends tell you, you're beautiful because YOU ARE.
ReplyDeleteBe nice to yourself, darling.
Loads of love to you,
Merely