still bummed out over nothing. it's not the don'twannatalkaboutit sort of nothing. it's just...there's nothing going on. why am i so sad? i canceled on the boy. went to my friend's house instead because she is 5'1"&hilarious&very very loving. i called another friends last night. conversation got around to eating&she started telling me that i shouldn't skip days of eating. that because i didn't eat yesterday that if i ate something small it would immediately turn to fat. (obviously, that didn't make me want to eat. obviously it had the opposite effect.) i wanted to get pissed off at her&explain that i'd done plenty of research, that i know how to starve myself properly. but i was feeling dizzy. so i sank down to the floor&sat with my head on my knees&told her "okay." strong? no. fat. i'm fat. fat fat fat. i don't want to be fat. i want to be small.
or:
i don't appreciate jumping photos. some people do. i just don't. anyway, skinny in the short sleeves, chubster in red. stay strong today, lovelies.
xoxo
zette
p.s. i promise not to cut myself today. not my feet, chest, fingertips, or the back of my neck. pinky promise.
People are so annoying when they say anything you eat will turn to fat if you didn't eat the day before. It takes about 3 days before the body goes into the whole "starvation mode" thing. And jumping photos are definitely not okay if you are fat. Or have large boobs... So unless it's a sport action photo (basketball,ect) people shouldn't do it.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people say stuff like that to make you eat. "it will wear away your muscles" "it will make you fatter". Yes, thank you very much, but I know what I'm doing.
ReplyDeleteYou WILL be small :)
Stay strong,
Lottie x
ppln should mind their own businessa nd not tell us what to do
ReplyDeleteIt will get better I promise :)
ReplyDeleteNo one understands no matter how much you wish they would it's kinda like a one man battle but in all reality it's better if they don't understand. You are getting there. A pound a day makes the fatties hate <3 stay strong baby girl and hang in there
Oh hunni hope you feel better! I hate it when I have sad days like that. Please dont cut yourself anymore! I used to have a BAD cutting problem and then one day thought "U strive to be thin but once you finally get there u wont even think of wearing a bathing suit because u look like a cutting board!" Kinda put shit into perspective, yet I know easier said then done. :/ Hold on tight! U can dooooooo it!!
ReplyDelete