right now i'm in the middle of a late breakfast. blackberry yogurt (60) with oatmeal (50). i'm about halfway through&my stomach is hurting. note to my guts, food shouldn't literally hurt you. when did i get this crazybackwardsfuckedup? i was reading through posts in my old blog. i posted about how the smell of food made me feel sick. then i got followers. followers started commenting&giving me tips. i know it started in my head, but sometimes i have to wonder if it would have gotten this far this fast without help from the cryinghappyhungrysupportive girls online?
or:
cheers for hugs. anyone else hate when a fatty comes at you wanting a hug? i do not want to put my arms around your fat while you dig your fingers into my ribs. it feels super creepy so no thank you. stay strong today, lovelies.
xoxo
zette
p.s. stomach stopped hurting. i think coffee is magical.
hmm...it is not the blogger ville's fault,
ReplyDeleteyou got to be this way for mistakes you did,
we just wanted to give you the support you asked for...
i wish that you see how beautiful you are, zette :)inside and out.
PerfectingMyEmptiness
food kills me too hun and the smell makes me nasoues but i have stomach issues from my ed i bought it on myself just be careful cause i dont want u to hurt like i do though
ReplyDeleteaww cute lil kittens
@PerfectingMyEmptiness: I wouldn't use "mistakes" to describe it. I think a better word is "choices." Mistakes just sounds so...negative.
ReplyDeleteAnd Zette, I agree that coffee can definitely be magical. =)
And at least you haven't gotten to the point where your food spontaneously comes back up. I'm just wishing you well and hoping you can fulfill your goals while staying safe. I wouldn't want to see anything happen to you because you're a great inspiration to me and a ton of other girls. =)
In all honesty, I partially blame blogger, and partially myself. I decided to join this community, so my fault. I posted calories, my fault. The girls commented more at 600cals a day then they do now at a healthy amount of calories. I sometimes feel ashamed to be on here now. Zette, you are one of my three fave girls though, and I'm so glad you bring up points like this. much much love and skinnies
ReplyDeleteHmmm, maybe maybe not. Its hard to know for sure. I've noticed I get more followers when I talk about being fucked up with food rather than fucked up with depression. I hate it since I think they're trying to get EDs.
ReplyDeleteFood shouldn't hurt you. Your stomach needs to learn how to digest. Fiber-rich foods help, they provide something for the muscles to grab on to and strengthen themselves again.
*Hugs gorgeous Zette*
Blogger is quite strange, actually. Of course, it is encouraging to read all these lovely comments, but I think sometimes it pushes me even further into the illness. I still love being on here because I feel like you all understand, hopefully it's the same with you.
ReplyDeleteLoads of love to you, Zette.
Merely
i love u zette...but this post made me sad.....because I am def a fatty needing a hug right now. I guess your right I don't deserve any himan contact cuz im so fat n pathetic. At least your honestly is honorable. Thanks as always dear.
ReplyDelete