10:40am

warning, this might be a bit long. i woke up to yelling again. my mother is a terrible roommate. speaking of roomies, my friend has offered for me to move in to the little cottage next to her parents' house next year. we could both get jobs&go to school together, paying only for gas&groceries. i'm not sure. but what i do know is that there would be a lot less pressure on me to eat if i went. hmm. i finished eating my apple even though my mother left for work. apples are my safe food. do you have a safe food? a fruit? veggie? rice cake? tell meeeeeee.
also, another netflix morning. i'm watching lord of the rings:fellowship of the ring. i used to own it but my mother threw it away. (again, a terrible roommate.) then i'll put a livelier movie on for my workout. i might take my bike out later to get some sun on my giant white legs. no kidding, guys, my legs are giant. i took photos of myself in my bikini this morning. i want to throw up. then cry. then work out until i pass out. yeah, that sounds good. but i do not cry anymore. ugh. i hate my body.
but i shouldn't waste energy on hate. i will use it. to burn calories i have not consumed. i like to burn calories in little ways. like doing squats while i type at the computer. i never sit still if i'm talking on the phone. when reading a book i like to lie on my back&cycle. i look a bit like i'm pretending to ride a bike. but it burns calories. i do jumping jacks when i'm impatient about coffee or tea being ready. do any of you do little things to keep moving?

i rarely post 3 photos of the same girl, but this little beatles fan is darling.

or:

the skinny is hiding behind the blonde. fyi, the same skinny from yesterday. the girls on the far right&far left are giants. i want an overweight person to keep a food journal so i can see what it takes to maintain that. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. i got mocha cappuccino flavored coffee. it's amazing.

p.s.s. next post i may or may not have to tell you a bit more about a boy.