11:08pm

being empty&then eating food is horribleawfuldirty but it's essential to life. life is horribleawfuldirty but there are beautiful pieces of it that i'm not willing to give up yet. also i've spent a bit of time hating this scar.

i'm a little sad about my ribcage. it's fine. it's just big. too big. but it's bone. it's stuck there&it's not going to get any smaller. i can slice it open in as many places as i want, but that's as small as it will be. i have lots lots lots of room to lose weight other places though. i'm curious to see what my face looks like when my legs are small. i wonder if i'll look odd or just fragile? i've got to admit it eventually, that i don't just want to be thin. i want to be sick. i need to be sick. i don't understand it. so i'll deny it until i do. anyway, girl on lookbook who is small. this weekend i'm going thrifting for baggy clothes.

or:

she wasn't even big in these photos. but compare them to the ones above. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. not eating today.