girl on the right is a ballerina. stay strong today, lovelies.
xoxo
zette
p.s. if you ever come to my town, could you please hang banners around that say something like "stop trying to fix zette".
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
9:06am
R has a favorite word. "disease." when i say something that doesn't make sense to her, she drops a little phrase about "just the disease". usually followed by a sentence started with "i know that.." as if she really does know. but i can't get over that word. disease. like i'm a filthycontagiousawful creature who needs to be fixed. also, like the immature creature that i am, i just asked her on facebook to pick a new word. she said, "disease: a disordered system of the body resulting from the effect of nutritional deficiency or unfavorable environmental factors - starving yourself causes your body to not function properly therefore affecting our ability to think and act logically - you know I love you and I'm not beating around the bush anymore." i'm feeling more&more like a project that she needs to finish. i don't want her to pretend i'm okay, i don't want her to tell me i'm not okay, i don't want anything from her. or from anyone else. i want to eat an orange, do my laundry, go running with my dog, &drink hot tea with a stack of books next to me. fuck you, world.
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Oh sweetheart... I'm guessing she doesn't know what to do. She definitely doesn't want to see you hurting. No one wants that. You deserve to be happy. Keep your chin up, love <3
ReplyDeleteShe's trying to shame you into recovery. She knows "disease" is a nasty word to you, and the effect it has when she says it. Might be coming from a place of love but not the best tactic. Will join the banner hanging committee if I come to town. :)
ReplyDeleteYour spine sticks out like a stegosaurus. No one invites you to parties, they say they don't want to be held responsible if you overdose your little body and die in the bathroom. I know you think your bones are beautiful but I want you to be safe. Pretty please meet me at starbucks today? We can even go to Charlie's to jam for a while. He got new amps and a fender strat like yours and we could use your awesome voice. Love you, princess. -lynny
ReplyDeleteP.S. Let's go get whoever Raynay is so we can get these banners done, I'll start with downtown.
I totally agree with Lost in Space. She just wants to help you, but doesn't know any other (better?) way. I bet she's feeling helpless, but wants to do anything to help you as she sees you as somebody needing help. You'll have to accept that or you will lose her as a friend. And she IS a friend. I hate to say that, but you risk to lose her anyway. On the other hand, I don't know how much this friendship is worth for you.
ReplyDeleteKeep strong
Judith
I agree too, she just wants to help :) but I know it's horrid when people are always trying to fix you :/
ReplyDeleteOrange, laundry, running, tea, books - sounds perfect to me :)
I love that picture!
Lottie x
Okay fine she wants to help you but at one poitn enough is enough. He behavior wouldn't be helping you anyway with the way she presents it to you. Your friend sounds like she is being a bitch in my opinion. You are an adult and she should let it go already.
ReplyDeleteHopefully my opinions on this are not too harsh or out of line.
Love ya.
Some people just want to help, but they don't really know how to go about it in the best way. I don't think people on the receiving end know how to handle that. Especially because we don't expect anything from anyone, and our habits make us very independent. I'm not sure how much talking to her would help, but maybe you can come to a compromise on how to approach the topic in a way that makes both of you more comfortable...
ReplyDeleteMissed you lots zette, btw you're not a project, you're perfect.
I so will.
ReplyDelete<3
We all know in here Zette, you don't want to be thin. You just want to belong somewhere.
ReplyDeleteKnow my words can't help, I'm just a girl in the other side of the computer. Just hope that you'll someday get enough courage to fight this back, 'cause I belive that you could win.
Many hugs - Hailey