Friday, June 17, 2011

10:58am

apple on the plate in front of me. a lady alice apple. safe. sliced thin. slices with yellow peel on the left, red on the right. 6 bites each. chew 26 times. sip of water in between. before breakfast, a cup of coffee with (10) of almond milk. watched law&order, volume turned up to hear their scripted words over my breathing as i jogged in place.
sitting outside later with the book i carry in my purse, 'wasted'. finally going to read it all the way through. i haven't yet. this girl, her eating disorder, seems so familiar. as if our brains came from the same mold, sent to different bodies that were viewed the same way. but i do not have an eating disorder. so how can this be? doesn't matter. people worry even without a reasondiagnosisproof.



or:
the girls on the right are sisters. do you have a sister? i have three&they are all thinner than i am, i think. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo
zette
p.s. this little mission i'm on of finding information that will tell R. that i don't have an eating disorder is driving me crazy. it's all the same.

8 comments:

  1. Wow thats barely any food. its very impressive! I've read wasted and I know how you feel its very relatable, and a really good book!

    -Kim

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  2. Girly girl, I love how you organize your food. It makes me smile. I organize things like that too. I hope today is less crazy, and that you find something useful to show R today! loves

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  3. Wow, that's hardly anything!
    I started reading wasted, but I had to do it online and because its copyrighted the words were all jumbled :/ it seemed good though! Wintergirls is a good ED one too :)
    Lottie x

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  4. pretty zette, your so much more worth than this. look at your self god dam it! You're so beautiful! Live your life. Don't hide behind this starvation.

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  5. food structure and procedure: strikingly soothing

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  6. You seem like you're in control, I am happy for you. You have to tell us about Wasted, I have wanted to read it for a very long time now, too.
    Wish you luck, honey.
    Merely

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  7. I wish I could be you right now! I wish I could stop at one apple and a cup of coffee. I wish I had the drive to jog in place. I wish I could read Wasted all over again (such a good book!). You're amazing and my inspiration when I'm worse than I should be.

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  8. i love waster its a great book
    and i have one sister
    love apples

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