Thursday, February 9, 2012

7:46pm

i really like to be empty. i like the feeling of having nothing but my thoughts floating around. until my thoughts get scarynastyhorrible. but it always passes. at the marina, where i feed the ducks (yes i wore my heeled oxfords to feed them) past the boat launch there's a little piece of land that stretches farther over the water. i like to sit on the edge of it with my headphones blocking out the noise of the highway. i sit there with a lighter to either burn my skin or light a cigarette. i bring a book. either 'hollow' by jena morrow, 'thin' by grace bowman, or 'wintergirls' by laurie halse anderson. it's my time. just for me. it's not productive or useful or helpful for anyone but me. i'd go now, but the sun has told my part of the world goodnight. i'll probably saturday. i keep getting questions about my goal weight. for ages my goal has been 115. but as time passes it's become open-ended. my goal weight, theoretically, is zero. though i know the scale will only say this when i'm holding it. excuse my flabby self.

sorry i couldn't dig up a better comparison photo for you.
the girl in the belted dress commented "i miss those shoes!" the girl in the blue top commented "i miss being that skinny!" funny to me. stay strong today, lovelies.


xoxo
zette
p.s. for those of you who text me, pretty please put those phones to work. i miss you. if you're in the U.S. email me your name&number. ilovezette@yahoo.com
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousThursday, February 09, 2012 8:21:00 PM

    Wintergirls is my absolute favorite book. (: You are so damn pretty, hon. And I think you're perfectly skinny too, you look wonderful. I love reading your blog, especially your comparison pictures. I know people just like the girl in the blue shirt haha.

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  2. CharlieThursday, February 09, 2012 10:26:00 PM

    I know it doesn't really mean a whole lot to you, but I think you have an absolutely perfect everything. I wish I looked like you.
    When I say I know it doesn't mean a lot, I mean that I know that you wouldn't be satisfied with someone else saying that, it would only satisfy you if you honestly believed it. If that makes sense. That's how my head works, anyway.
    I would text you, or send you my number, but I'm such an awful texting buddy to the one I already have...
    <3

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  3. robyngabrielleFriday, February 10, 2012 5:32:00 AM

    Your eyes and skin are so luminous and lovely. Zette you worry me, I hope you are ok, you look so tiny now! xx

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  4. Olivia LeeFriday, February 10, 2012 1:46:00 PM

    You have incredibly beautiful lips, darling.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFriday, February 10, 2012 2:01:00 PM

    You've got some collarbones on you! You're gorgeous, sweetie. I hope you believe that someday soon. I wish I lived in the US so I can text you :) Stay safe and keep your chin up <3

    ReplyDelete

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