6:37pm

oops. so the post monday night didn't end up happening. monday morning my boss sent me to the minute clinic to get checked out for a prescription so i could get over whatever was going on with me. so an hour&a half later i call my boss to let her know i had strep throat&infections in both ears. had to leave work&cancel therapy. stocked up on movies, powerade, &perrier to last me until today when i went back to work. fucking hate being sick. my ears feel so weird. anyway..

the rockers invited me over for dinner. i ate almost all my food like a good little girl. even dessert. here's my little dilemma. my old best friend is nuts about myfitnesspal&all her friends on it. she counts calories like crazy, spends time stretching in the mirror to count her ribs, throws food away, threw my food away for me, etc. so i have two options: 1) be responsible, let her parents know i'm concerned, &avoid them. 2) get close to her again&get hella skinny together (lia&cassie much?). fuck. guys i really don't want to be responsible. it's SO tempting to drag her down with me. oh cute. i'm mental. bad zette.

i think i'm going in circles in therapy. she mostly wants to do inner child work which drives me crazy. my childhood was a scary beast&i'd like to stop revisiting it. on the bright side she pretty much gave me a free pass to lose weight which i'm taking advantage of. slowly. only 2lbs a week or so. but still.

still going to the gym all the time. i love it. last week, when i was a different sort of sick, i walked in with a thermometer in my mouth to make sure my fever had broken so i could work out. that was miserable. but worth it. also threw up. with my hands behind my back. hate hate hate throwing up when it's not deliberate. it's so different from purging. sort of makes me think though. as in why do i do that to myself so often? it's not very ladylike at all.

i know i've more to tell you chickadees but it's nearly 7 so i'm off to the gym. love love love you.

halloween is coming up soon. i'm coordinating costumes with my friends so i've got to be the smallest.

xoxo
zette
p.s. excuse any typos. you know i never check over these things.