1:50pm

my friends don't really poke fun at me anymore. they used to tap on my collarbones like i do. they used to poke my ribs. they used to make jokes about me looking like i must starve myself. they don't anymore. they look at me&i think they look sad. they catch themselves&give me a big smile. i smile back, pretending not to pick up on their reaction. just something i've noticed.
last night i drove a forty minutes to pick up a friend in town from illinois. we drove back to my city&went out to eat. i'd rather not talk about that. we walked outside&had a cigarette before we hopped in my car&drove to the park. we walked around the playground&sat on the swings. she pulled out a rock&some weed so we smoked that, too, &talked about nice things.
then my old friend (whose mother kicked me out of their lives because apparently she's allergic to people who she thinks have eating disorders) showed up with two of her friends. so they played hide&seek&we sat there passing&lighting&laughing. awkward but not awkward. anyway, i cleaned out my closet. five trash bags of stuff i decided i didn't need anymore. it's so neat now. between that, hanging out with my friend, church (nap) this morning&meeting my sister-in-law for coffee later, i've done it. i've had a full weekend. yes, i'm fucking congratulating myself. normally i stay in as much as possible on weekends.

i wish i could be short. stay strong today, lovelies.

xoxo

zette

p.s. summer is coming up soon. not excited. summer weather here is horrible.